Quote / Dialogue Of The Day

“Lucky Number Slevin” is a Noir flick that boasts some cracking dialogues. In this scene, Slevin (Josh Hartnett) tries to convince The Rabbi (Sir ben Kingsley) that he is not Nick Fisher, the guy who owes some money to The Rabbi. He is confused as to why the mobsters are calling him Nick Fisher lately and demanding for money. And to that The Rabbi replies :

The Rabbi : My father used to say: “The first time someone calls you a horse, you punch him on the nose. The second time someone calls you a horse, you call him a jerk. But the third time someone calls you a horse, well…then perhaps it’s time to go shopping for a saddle.”

Quote / Dialogue Of The Day

Today’s quote is from Kevin Smith’s fourth movie “Dogma“. I couldn’t find the image of this particular scene. But this is the scene when Metatron (Alan Rickman), herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God, starts to leave Bathany (Linda Fiorentino) after telling her about her “crusade” and Bethany asks him what God is like. Alan Rickman truly dazzles in this movie with his dry wit and deadpan delivery.

Bethany : What’s he like?

Metatron : God? Lonely. But funny. He’s got a great sense of humor. Take sex for example. There’s nothing funnier than the ridiculous faces you people make mid-coitus.

Bethany : (Aghast) Sex is a joke in heaven?

Metatron : The way I understand it, it’s mostly a joke down here, too.

Dogma (1999)

Kevin Smith is an extremely talented writer. But he is not a great director. In fact, he describes himself as a “terrible director”. Writing has always been major strength for any Kevin Smith movie. When his writing is in a top form, his directorial skills (or the lack thereof) can be easily overlooked (Clerks, Chasing Amy, Clerks II). But when his writing falters, his “terribleness” as a director is quite visible (Jersey Girl, Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back). I am not sure where I would place “Dogma”. There are moments when the movie is quite terrible to watch. But then there are also many moments when the movie provides not only genuine laughs but also some intriguing ideas.

The movie came under heavy fire before its release from religious conservatives (especially the Catholic Church) for its seemingly anti-catholic and anti-religious ideas. Now, I’m not a Christian. Nor do I claim to have studied Christianity. But from what I saw in the movie I could say that the movie is anything but anti-catholic and anti-religious. Yes, Smith does take a few stabs at the Church. But as far as the movie is concerned, it’s totally pro-god. In fact, the message of the movie is “It doesn’t matter what you have faith in, just that you have faith”. Of course the crude and profane approach of Smith makes him an easy target for the conservatives. But if you look beyond it, then you’d find Smith presenting some really interesting ideas and a wonderful flight of fantasy. Bartleby (Ben Affleck) and Loki (Matt Damon) are the fallen angels who have been exiled from the heaven for the entire span of humanity. The duo, currently living in Wisconsin, is desperate to get back to Home where they belong. And soon an opportunity presents itself. Cardinal Glick (George Carlin) of a New Jersey church launches a “Catholicism Wow!” campaign to renew people’s faith in church and also add some panache to the institution. Not only do they replace the image of crucifix (which is “wholly depressing”) with a winking “Buddy Christ”, but they also resurrect the old Church practice by which one is forgiven of all sins by simply walking into the church. Finding this loophole in the Catholic Dogma, Bartleby and Loki decide to visit the New Jersey church to wash their sins and thus be free to go back to heaven. But it was God’s order that they should never be allowed back in the heaven. And if they succeed in doing it, that means the God is no longer infallible and it would undo the entire creation. So Metatron (Alan Rickman), the voice of God, contacts an abortion clinic worker from Illinois named Bethany (Linda Fiorentino), who’s actually a descendant of Christ himself and charges her the “Crusade” to stop the angels from succeeding. But she is not alone. To help her along the way is the irascible duo of Prophets (?) Jay (Jason Mews) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith). Also joining them are “The Forgotten 13th Apostle” Rufus (Chris Rock) and Serendipity (Salma Hayek).

As I said earlier, the movie is totally pro-God. But it presents a few interesting ideas : Why do we assume that God is a “He”? Why can’t he be a “She”? (and actually goes on with this theory towards the climax). Does God have a sense of Humour? Why does the Bible skip over what happened to Jesus between the ages of 12 and 30? Is it possible that the contents of the Bible are doctored? What does it mean to have a Faith? Though some of it might be unconventional, it’s not offending to anybody. When at its best, “Dogma” is very very funny. Metatron, when first makes his appearance and Bethany fails to recognize him as the Seraph, he scolds her saying ” You people — if there’s not a movie about it, it’s not worth knowing,” On another occasion, when he’s mentioning Loki’s work in Egypt with the Pharoh’s first born-son and Bethany tells him that she knows about the plague of Egypt, he growls, “Tell a person that you’re the Metatron and they stare at you blankly. Mention something out of a Charlton Heston movie and suddenly everybody is a theology scholar.” Rufus, the dead and forgotten 13th apostle claims that he was left out of Bible because he was Black. But unfortunately, the humour is quite sporadic. There are many uneven gaps where the movie seems quite boring. The humour totally dries up and suddenly the movie starts to look quite stupid. This is where Smith’s lack of directorial skills shows up. When his writing stumbles, the movie starts looking just as gross as the “Shit Demon” in the movie. Suddenly instead of looking as the work of a talented writer, it starts looking as a collection of toilet humour of some amateur film-maker. Also he has not been able to maintain the pace of the movie and the movie seems a little protracted.

But still despite of its obvious flaws, the movie somehow manages to hold its own and keep the viewers at least a little interested. That is mainly because of the ensemble cast that Smith has gathered. Alan Rickman clearly steals the show with his dry humour and deadpan delivery as the unappreciated Metatron. Before watching this movie, all I knew about Alan Rickman was that he plays “Professor Snape” in the “Harry Potter series”. I find him quite menacing in those movies, maybe even more than Voldemort. But here he shows his versatility and a sense of comic timing that truly blows you away. His in and out appearances in the movie make you long for more. Next on the bill, is the Smith veterans Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. And they do a great job as usual, particularly Affleck in the scene when he gets really pissed off at God and wants his revenge. Linda Fiorentino is good as “The Last Scion”. Chris Rock, Salma Hayek and Jason Lee are alright in their supporting roles. Alanis Morissette looks beautiful as God.

“Dogma” is a hit-and-miss affair. It misses more than it hits. Still this movie would go down as the most ambitious movie in Kevin Smith’s career so far. I’d recommend this movie to anyone who likes Kevin Smith’s movies. It’s not as funny and energetic as “Clerks“. Neither is it as intimate and moving as “Chasing Amy“. The result is somewhere between. But those who love Smith’s brand of bawdy humour would easily appreciate it. 

The Pursuit Of Happyness (2006)

“The Pursuit Of Happyness” is a a true rags-to-riches story of Chris Gardner who, despite of the odds stacked heavily against him, achieved the American Dream. In today’s world where hope is the first thing that people lose in times of adversity, Chris Gardner’s story is quite inspiring. But alas…I can’t say the same thing about the movie. Not only is the movie totally uninspiring, but it’s also extremely dull and exhausting. “Ordeal” is not really a word that I would associate with this movie experience. But it comes pretty close. Sitting through this 2 hours overdose of drama tasted every last bit of patience that I had.

The city is San Francisco and the year is 1981. Chris Gardner (Will Smith) is having trouble selling his portable bone density scanners. His wife, Linda (Thandie Newton) is fed up with their poverty and her husband’s failure to give her a better life. It’s not that Chris is not working hard enough already. He’s working very hard and running everywhere to keep his appointments with the doctors. But somehow, he simply cannot get enough money to run the house. The trouble between husband and wife is also affecting their son, Christopher (Jaden Christopher Syre Smith). Finally one day, a frustrated Linda decides to leave Chris. But Chris insists that his son will stay with him. Chris is still trying to sell his scanners. In the meantime, he also applies for an internship at a brokerage firm. And so begins the journey of the father-son to the “promised land”. But the journey is anything but easy.

Normally, movies that tell such stories have a great potential to motivate people. People like to see an underdog overcoming the odds and emerging as a Hero. But “The Pursuit Of Happyness” totally fails at it. Instead of appearing as a tenacious struggle of Chris Gardner, it comes across as a dull series of obstacles. This story has two aspects to it : One is Chris’s struggle against the odds. As said earlier, the movie appears as a dull series of obstacles that Chris must overcome in order to reach his goal. He gets thrown out of his home.He gets thrown into a jail. He gets robbed by a hippie. He gets hit by a car. He loses one of his shoes. He loses one of his scanners. He sleeps in a public toilet. All these and many more situations are simply thrown in one after another without really making us care about the character. Since we don’t care about the character, we are not affected by what’s happening to him. The tedious series of the boring events that made me wish that Chris would reach his destination quick just so that this movie would end. But alas…no luck there also..The movie drags on and on for almost 2 hours. The second important aspect of the movie is the father-son relationship. But the movie fails in creating any believable relationship between the father and the son. There are only two brief scenes where Chris and his son “really” talk. Most of the time they are simply running hither-thither. Christopher appears as an excess baggage that Chris is carrying. Despite having a real-life father-son duo playing the parts, their was no chemistry at all between Chris and his son.

The only thing that kept me watching this movie was Will Smith. Will Smith is a charismatic actor. And it was his charisma that kept me from walking out of the movie in the middle. Somehow he manages to breathe some life into his character. There are certain moments of brilliance where Smith truly shines and showcases a terrific emotional range. He is the one who saves this movie from being “unwatchable”. However most of the time, he is bogged down by the screenplay of Steven Conrad. Far too much fuss has been made about Will Smith’s son, Jaden Christopher Syre Smith. He’s cute and he’s camera-friendly. But that’s about it. He doesn’t do anything noteworthy apart from looking cute. Of course, that’s not his fault. The problem lies with the script which could not create enough moments for him. He may have the potential, but we certainly don’t get any glimpse into it. And what is the problem with Thandie Newton? I totally loved her in “Crash” and I was really looking forward to her performance in this movie. But she comes across as this super-bi**h who is yelling her guts out all the time. An absolutely dismal performance from her.

Despite of the hype surrounding it and the oscar nominations it had received, “The Pursuit Of Happyness” is a very mediocre film. The story had a tremendous potential to become a great film. However it’s been squandered by the director and the writer.

Quote / Dialogue Of The day

Today I’d like to throw in this quote from “Dr. Strangelove“. It’s one of the funniest scenes of the movie and no matter how many times I see it, it manages to have me in splits.

Now I know this is a pretty long dialogue. In fact, it’s sort of a monologue where President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers) has the embarrassing task of letting the Soviet Premier Dimitri Kissoff know that some American planes are flying towards Russia on the orders of a General who’s gone “a little funny in the head‘ to carry out a nuclear attack. And if the President can’t call the planes back in time, then the only option for the Russians is to shoot the planes down before the mishap occurs. We can’t hear what Kissoff is saying. But from Peter Sellers’ dialogues, we get the idea of what’s happening at the other end of the line. After all, no Premier likes to be disturbed, whilst in a party, to be told that his country is under nuclear attack.

President Merkin Muffley : [on the phone to Kissoff] Hello?… Uh… Hello Di- uh hello Dmitri?…Listen..uh..uh..I can’t hear too well. Uh..you suppose you could turn the music down just a little?… Oh-ho, that’s much better… yeah… huh… yes… Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri… Clear and plain and coming through fine… I’m coming through fine, too, eh?… Good, then… well, then, as you say, we’re both coming through fine… Good… Well, it’s good that you’re fine and… and I’m fine… I agree with you, it’s great to be fine… a-ha-ha-ha-ha… Now then, Dmitri, you know how we’ve always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the Bomb… The BOMB, Dmitri… The HYDROGEN bomb!… Well now, what happened is… ahem… one of our base commanders, he had a sort of… well, he went a little funny in the head… you know… just a little… funny. And, ah… he went and did a silly thing… Well, I’ll tell you what he did. He ordered his planes… to attack your country… Ah… Well, let me finish, Dmitri… Let me finish, Dmitri… Well listen, how do you think I feel about it?… Can you IMAGINE how I feel about it, Dmitri?… Why do you think I’m calling you? Just to say hello?… OF COURSE I like to speak to you!… OF COURSE I like to say hello!… Not just now, but anytime, Dmitri. I’m just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened… It’s a FRIENDLY call. Of course it’s a friendly call… Listen, if it wasn’t friendly… you probably wouldn’t have even got it… They will NOT reach their targets for at least another hour… I am… I am positive, Dmitri… Listen, I’ve been all over this with your ambassador. It is not a trick… Well, I’ll tell you. We’d like to give your air staff a complete run-down on the targets, the flight plans, and the defensive systems of the planes… Yes! I mean i-i-i-if we’re unable to recall the planes, then… I’d say that, ah… well, ah… we’re just gonna have to help you destroy them, Dmitri… I know they’re our boys… All right, well listen now. Who should we call?… Who should we call, Dmitri? The… wha-whe, the People… you, sorry, you faded away there… The People’s Central Air Defense Headquarters… Where is that, Dmitri?… In Omsk… Right… Yes… Oh, you’ll call them first, will you?… Uh-huh… Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dmitri?… Whe-ah, what? I see, just ask for Omsk information… Ah-ah-eh-uhm-hm… I’m sorry, too, Dmitri… I’m very sorry… ALL RIGHT, you’re sorrier than I am, but I am as sorry as well… I am as sorry as you are, Dmitri! Don’t say that you’re more sorry than I am, because I’m capable of being just as sorry as you are… So we’re both sorry, all right?… All right.

Fay Grim (2006)

When I’m watching a movie, I like to have an idea of what I’m getting into. Generally, the movie promos give out the plot-line. If I miss out on the promos, then I make it a point to read the plot synopsis before watching the movie. However every now and then, I come across a lesser-known movie where I have absolutely no before-hand idea of what the plot-line is. And on more than one occasions, such movies have proved to be quite delightful. I did not have the foggiest notion of what “Fay Grim” was all about. I did not even know who was acting in it. But while watching the first half of the movie, I found myself enjoying so much that I had started wondering “Why didn’t I hear about this movie before?”. By the time the second half got over, I knew the answer to that “Why?”. After a breezy first half, “Fay Grim” squanders its playful tone and turns into an espionage thriller that is unnecessarily convoluted and confusing and exhausting for any viewer.

I haven’t seen any other movie made by Hal Hartley. But from what I’ve read now, it seems that Hal Hartley was the director of a little Indie flick called “Henry Fool” that clicked big time in 1998. “Fay Grim” is the sequel to “Henry Fool“. All the main characters from “Henry Fool” are back in “Fay Grim”. However if you, like me, haven’t seen “Henry Fool” before, that won’t affect your viewing experience of “Fay Grim”. The story has the potential to stand on its own. Fay Grim (Parker Posey) is the single mother trying to raise her 14 year old troublemaker son Ned (Liam Aiken). Fay’s brother, the Nobel Prize winning poet, Simon Grim (James Urbaniak) is in prison for aiding Fay’s husband Henry Fool (Thomas Jay Ryan). Henry, it seems, has quite a shady past and has fled the country to escape from the authorities. Seven years later, just when Fay is getting on with her life without her absconding husband, CIA led by Agent Fulbright (Jeff Goldblum) literally breaks into her home. They inform her about a certain volumes of “Confessions” written by Henry Fool which the French government has and they want her to go and retrieve the confessions since Henry is now dead. Fay thinks the whole thing to be quite absurd since she thinks Henry’s confessions were nothing but cheap, incoherent and overtly sexual rantings of a garbage man. However it seems that Henry was much more than just a garbage man and his confessions which run upto 8 volumes could easily bring the United States government down. And so not only are the Americans after it, but the French, the British, the Arab, the Israelis, all are after it. So it’s upto Fay to safely procure all the volumes of the confessions and also to find out the truth about Henry Fool.

The movie starts of slowly, introducing us to each characters. Then it moves into the next gear where the mystery shrouds the name Henry Fool. For the entire first half, Hartley has blended the comedic, quirky elements brilliantly with the puzzling mystery and suspense. We really start to care about Fay who’s unwittingly getting drawn into an international spy game. The movie keeps us chuckling throughout the first half and really keeps us on our toes. We really want to know what happens next. However as soon as the first half is over, things start getting muddy. The playful tone, the dry wit of the movie is replaced with the pretentiously serious tone. All of a sudden all the humour dries up and we are facing a plot that is more twisted than we could imagine. Frankly, it’s so twisted that it becomes almost incomprehensible. All of a sudden we have the French spies, the Israeli spies, the Arab spies jumping at Fay from various corners. The double crosses, triple-crosses mount up at a dizzying speed. The movie talks about America’s attempts to overthrow the government in Chile, the global positions of American Satellites, the war in Afghanistan. And before we know anything else, Fay becomes the most wanted woman in the USA. I know, it doesn’t make much sense. But then that’s how it is. By this time, I had stopped my feeble attempts to make any sense of the proceedings and fixed all my attention entirely on the clock which won’t run fast enough.

I don’t know what the director was really trying to make and I don’t really understand why he had to make it so damn confusing. I wonder if even the characters knew what was exactly going on in the movie. I had this extreme urge to break into the silver screen and ask Parker Posey “Do you really understand what’s going on? ‘Cos this all seems Greek to me.” Parker Posey really tries hard to make us care about Fay and she succeeds in doing so for the first half. However throughout the second half, she looks just as lost as the audience. Jeff Goldblum turns in another fine performance. But then we don’t really care about his character anyway.

I won’t really recommend this movie to anyone. After the sublime first half, we have to go through a labyrinthine second half that is not only utterly confusing but also non-rewarding. The final payoff is the sad, puzzled look on Fay’s face which exactly matches the look on our face. What a waste!

Quote / Dialogue Of The day

“Lucky Number Slevin” is not really my most favorite movie. But it’s definitely worth watching once. Despite its predictable premise, the movie clicks mainly because of some witty dialogues. In this scene, The Boss (Morgan Freeman) shows Slevin (Josh Hartnett) the dead body of Slim Hopkins. Slim owed $ 96,000 to The Boss. And Slevin owes $ 96,000 to Slim, which pretty much makes Slevin liable to The Boss.

The Boss : [shows Slevin the dead body of Slim in his freezer and calls out to the body] Hey, Slim! You know this cat? Slim!

[turns to Slevin]

The Boss : No use. Ever since somebody shot him, old Slim went deaf.

Slevin : What happened…to make Slim go deaf?

The Boss : Why?

Slevin : Well, because I owe you $96,000, and I may have a slight problem coming up with the money.

The Boss : Oh, okay. Well, why don’t we just make it an even 90?

Slevin : I… may have exaggerated the slightness.

Mar Adentro [The Sea Inside] (2004)

I had heard a lot about the Spanish movie “Mar Adentro (English title “The Sea Inside”)”. It was the winner of the 2004 Golden Globe Award and the Oscar Award for the “Best Foreign Language Film”. I first heard about it in late 2005 when I was just starting to explore movies beyond Hollywood. I tried hard for the next two years to find this movie. But somehow, I just could not find it anywhere. So imagine my joy when all of a sudden a TV channel decided to show it last week! I was all psyched up. Even though it’s quite biased, I think I had already made up my mind that I would love this movie. And I did like the movie. But I did not find it to be quite the “Masterpiece” as it was being hailed by many critics. It somehow left me with a little bittersweet taste.

Make no mistake, this is not a bad movie. It’s a good movie. But it could have been a great movie. After all, it was dealing with an ever-hot topic of euthanasia. The movie is based on the true story of Ramón Sampedro. Ramón Sampedro((Javier Bardem), a robust ship mechanic, was only 26 years old when a freak diving accident broke his neck and left him quadriplegic for the rest of his life. For the next 29 years of his life, he had to depend on his family for his existence. His sister-in-law, Manuela (Mabel Rivera), loves him like a son and cares for him. His elder brother, José (Celso Bugallo) and other family members are more than happy to look after Ramón for their entire lives. But Ramón feels that his life is trapped within his body, that his life is “without any dignity” where he has to depend on everyone for everything. For 28 years after his acident, he tirelessly demanded his right to die, “to die with dignity”. When he went public with his request, he became a sort of a celibrity in Spain. He demanded his right for “assisted suicide” since he could not even kill himself. However he was fighting a battle against not just the law which could punish anyone who would assist him in his quest, but also against the political and religious authorities. Helping him in his cause are Julia (Belen Rueda), a lawyer and Rosa (Lola Dueñas), a local Radio Jockey. Though Ramón is left incapable of lifting even a finger, his outlook on life is not gloomy. In fact far from being gloomy, he is always the happy and humorous guy who provides some inspiration to others.

For a few minor changes and some fictional additions, the story of Ramón Sampedro is told like it was. Director Alejandro Amenábar, who also co-wrote the script, has made sure that his movie stands out from other movies dealing with this topic. The topic this movie deals with is such that it’s easy to get into a trap and make the movie a total melodramatic tearjerker. Instead, Amenábar has kept the tone of the movie very upbeat and bright. Ramón, despite his physical inability, comes across as a guy who is witty and funny. Instead of being a morose and sulky disabled, he comes across as an extremely cheerful and innovative guy. His body may be damaged, but his spirit is not. He believes that “Life without freedom is no life at all” and that’s why he demands the right “to die with dignity” .

The main problem with this movie is that we never really get to see the thought process behind Ramón’s wish to die. Sure, the quadriplegia is a strong reason itself. But somehow it is never really explained why he wants to die despite of his cheery outlook on life. Only fleetingly do we get glimpses of his thinking when he says “Life without freedom is no life at all”. However the issue of Euthanasia is not such a black-and-white issue. We really have to understand why someone wants to die. Then only we may be able to empathize with him. Since the reasons are not really well-explained, we cannot understand his insistence to die. Then there is the love affair between him and Julia which seems so forced. This is one thing that really brings the tempo of the movie down. Except for their first encounter, every time Ramón and Julia get together, the scenes simply drag. Alejandro Amenábar has paced this movie in a very unhurried fashion. So it really builds the characters very slowly. But there are more than one occasions where the movie really loses its momentum and threatens to invite boredom.

Notice how I said “threatens to invite boredom”? Because every time the movie threatens to do so, it’s the lead actor Javier Bardem’s performance which comes to our rescue. Bardem’s performance is definitely one of the best I’ve ever seen. Acting only with his face and allowed to crane his neck only a few inches, this actor renders one of the most mesmerising performances on celluloid. He has displays amazing range of emotions. He is the mischievous, funny, intelligent, innovative and mature Ramón Sampedro that we end up sympathising. It won’t be incorrect to say that the movie works mainly because of his towerhouse performance. Credit must also be given to director Alejandro Amenábar for tackling this subject with such sensitivity. There are plenty of scenes that really touch your heart and may even bring tears to your eyes (especially towards the end).

Despite its flaws, this is still a brilliant movie. It may not be the “Masterpiece” as I had expected. But it sure is one of the better movies that I’ve seen. Though it’s a Spanish movie with English subtitles, I’d recommend it to every mature viewer. It’s definitely a good movie experience.

Chasing Amy (1997)

Kevin Smith’s third movie “Chasing Amy” is a nice departure from the general aimless chaos of his previous two films. No, Smith’s style hasn’t changed much. He’s still the keen observer with a wicked sense of humour. He still cracks bawdy jokes about sex and star wars. But this time around, he is looking beyond the low-brow humour and looking to make his case to be accepted as a serious film-maker. With “Chasing Amy”, Smith has not only created characters that we can relate to and care about, but also has crafted out one of the most scintillating romantic comedies ever to grace the celluloid.

Holden (Ben Affleck) and Banky (Jason Lee) are the creators of a successful comic book “Bluntman And Chronic”. At a comic book convention, a common friend Hooper (Dwight Ewell) introduces them to Alyssa (Joey Lauren Adams), the creator of comic book “Idiosyncratic Routine”. Together all four of them go out for a few drinks where Holden and Alyssa hit it off. After a few drinks and a game of darts, Alyssa leaves. But Holden cannot get her out of his mind and tells Banky that he and Alyssa “shared” a moment. He is totally smitten by her. Next Saturday, when Hooper invites him to a party at a club at the insistence of Alyssa, Holden feels sure that even Alyssa likes him and is prepared to make his move. But unfortunately for him, there he discoveres that Alyssa is actually a lesbian. This news totally upsets him and he leaves the club abruptly. But Alyssa relly likes him and wants to be friends with him. Over a period of time, a beautiful friendship evolves between them and Holden, despite of Banky’s warnings, finds himself hopelessly falling for Alyssa.

The movie could be easily divided in three parts. The first part where we are introduced to the characters is played mainly for laughs. It boasts some of the best lines Smith has written. As usual there are jokes about Star Wars. Hooper, who is black and gay, talks about how Darth Vader, a spiritual black brother, was oppressed by the white boy Luke Skywalker. There’s also a small funny debate about whether Archie is gay or not (“Archie is the Bitch and Jughead is the Butch”). The most hilarious part of the movie, of course, takes place in the club where Banky draws a comparison between oral sex and the CNN. The second part of the movie deals with the evolving relationship between Holden and Alyssa. Now this part is truly the meat of the story. From Kevin Smith, I expect some profanity and original humour. But a solid romance was the last thing that I had expected. However not only has Smith developed his characters extremely well, but the romance is one of the best that I’ve ever seen on-screen. None of it seems fake or forced. The third part of the movie deals with Holden’s sexual hang-ups when he realises that his girlfriend is more “experienced” than him. It also shows the hypocrisy of men. Holden is alright as long as he thought Alyssa was “pure” lesbian. But he freaks out the moment he finds out that she’s been with a few guys also before.

Ben Affleck and Joey Lauren Adams provide a brilliant performance and create a very effective cheistry between their characters. Joey Lauren Adams, in particular, delivers quite a performance. Sure, she goes a little over the top in couple of scenes. But overall, she’s quite brilliant. Jason Lee is perfect as the short-tempered Banky. Kevin Smith is definitely not the best of directors. His strength lies in writing. But he has crafted some really unforgettable scenes in this movie. The scene where Holden pours his heart to Alyssa is one such scene. On the writing front, Smith excels as usual. The dialogues sparkle with the wit and profanity and some wisdom too( Silent Bob’s advice to Holden).

“Clerks” may be the most entertaining movie that Smith has ever created.It will remain my all-time favorite Kevin Smith movie. But “Chasing Amy” is easily the most mature movie that Smith has ever made. It loses it’s zing in the last 20 minutes. But still it’s easily my second favorite Kevin Smith movie.

Clerks II (2006)

There’s always a sense of familiarity pervading through the movies of Kevin Smith. Smith works with a nearly same set of actors and has them doing a role of some sort in all his movies. For example : Jay and Silent Bob is one pair that is always present in almost all of his movies. Then there are other actors like Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Jason Lee who have worked with Smith in more than one movies. Plus there are always references in his movies about his previous films. The references may be lost on a newcomer. But a longtime Smith fan knows all the characters and all the references. So far I have seen 5 out of the 7 movies that Smith has directed and “Clerks” remains my all-time favorite Kevin Smith movie. So it was the sense of familiarity and a curiosity to see the characters I had loved once again that drew me to watch “Clerks II”.

It was 12 years ago that Smith had shot to fame with his “Clerks”. He was only 24 years old then. Now he was a 36 years old seasoned writer/director with total 6 films under his belt already. And for his seventh movie he decided to revisit his beginning and take the story forward from there. When the movie starts, Quick Stop is burning to ground and that means Dante (Brian O’Halloran) and Randal (Jeff Anderson),who have worked there for a decade, must look for a job elsewhere. They manage to get a job at Mooby’s, a fast food joint. A year later, Dante is about to move to Florida with his fiance’, Emma (Jennifer Schwalbach), whom he doesn’t really love. But at the same time, he’s in love with his boss, Becky (Rosario Dawson). Also Randal is not very happy about Dante moving to Florida as that would mean an end of their 33-year old friendship. Also if Dante moves to Florida, that means Randal will have to cope with the “Lord Of The Rings” fanatic Elias (Trevor Fehrman). Now that Quick Stop has burned down, Jay (Jason Mews) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) have started hanging outside Mooby’s and they are upto their usual antics.

People tell me that “Borat” is the funniest movie of 2006. I strongly disagree. They must have missed this one. “Clerks II” is THE best comedy of 2006. It wins hands down. Smith’s writing is again top-notch here. Those who loved the first “Clerks” would enjoy the second one just as much. This time around, the movie does not seem purposeless as its predecessor. This time it has an agenda. Firstly, it’s a romantic comedy where Dante has to choose between Emma and Becky. Smith had already shown his deftness while handling the romantic comedy “Chasing Amy”. He does the same here. He develops the relationship so well that you really care about these characters. Secondly, the focus is also on the friendship between Dante and Randal. We get to see how much these two guys love each other (“in a totally heterosexual way” as Randal says).

The humour of course is quite coarse as expected. It may not be as raw and ribald as the original “Clerks”. But still it’s enough to unsettle a few members of the audience. As usual there are references to Star Wars (Smith is a Star Wars fanatic. So each of his movies contains some sort of reference to Star Wars). This time Smith makes fun of the “Lord Of The Rings” trilogy and claims that “Star Wars” is THE only trilogy that matters. He also pokes funs at the “Transformers” hype. He even plays around racism and bestiality. There are jokes about gay Hobbits, cripple bloggers, sex with alien life form among many other things. Smith’s sense of humour is simply amazing. There is hardly any joke that doesn’t work. The acting is nothing exceptional. But Smith’s writing covers up for all the shortcomings of the actors.

But having said that, let me also warn again (I have already warned once in my review of “Clerks“) that this humour is not for the weaker ones. If you cannot enjoy some low-brow, profane humour without feeling offended, then you’d better stay away from this movie (for that matter all of Kevin Smith movies). Nowhere else will you find a woman saying “I Do” to a guy while watching a bestiality show. Only Kevin Smith can come up with a outrageous situation like that and make it seem funny. Love him or hate him…You simply cannot ignore Kevin Smith.